How to Beat the
Bureaucrats
by Sid Grosvenor
Sid Grosvenor, who
wrote an article for the April 1998 edition of The Mexico File, has
retired as a Dallas Police Department Commander after almost 35 years. He is
now enjoying world travel with his wife, Patricia, as well as his newest
passion � writing.
My wife, Patricia, and I
have been traveling to various parts of Mexico for many years. We love Mexico,
its people, its history and charm. But we, like most travelers, have also
experienced our share of �petty bureaucrats.� You know the kind � the
ones who have a little bit of power and let it all go straight to their heads.
My philosophy, when confronted with such people, is to remember the lyrics of
the popular country and western song of a few years back, which goes something
like this � �You have to know when to hold them, when to fold them, and
when to walk away.�
On our last land border
crossing at Laredo/Nuevo Laredo (from Texas into Mexico) in the summer of
1999, I used all three parts of the song�s instructions to successfully
cross the border without paying an outrageously high �fine.� This
�fine,� of course, as I later confirmed, was really a request for major
�mordita� (or �the little bite� � a usually minor gratuity, or as
some would say, a bribe, paid to a border official to do something he should
do anyway).
In our case, we had
inadvertently allowed our FM3 Mexican residency documents to expire by a few
weeks. I became aware of this just before our annual summer excursion to
become �Mexican residents� for a few of the hottest summer months in
Texas. I tried to renew the FM3 visas at the Mexican Consulate in Dallas, only
to be told that I would to totally reapply. This would mean that we would have
to obtain and submit updated pension benefit letters, etc. etc. Besides the
hassle this would be, there was just not time to do it all and leave on
time. I asked if a tourist card obtained at the border would suffice, knowing
that I would be able to do this, as long as I had two documents to prove U.S.
citizenship in hand. And the tourist card is good up to 90 days (more time
than we had planned to be in Mexico for this trip). The person on duty said,
�yes, this would be the easiest solution.� So I opted to, as the song
says, just �walk away.�
Arriving at the border
several days later, I was smart enough not to use our FM3 residency
passport-like booklets as one of the forms of proof of U.S. citizenship in
hopes of avoiding confusion. No, instead, we used our U.S. passports and
voter�s registration certificates. Handing our documents to the appropriate
immigration official, all seemed to go well until she happened to notice the
Mexican residency visas neatly pasted onto one of the back pages of our
passports. I had forgotten they were even there. �Why are you using tourist
cards when you have a residency permit?� I explained that they were expired
and that the Mexican Consulate in Dallas said it would be OK just to enter the
country on a tourist card. WRONG!
I would have to see
another higher-up official at a different location to iron out the problem. It
was time to �fold them.� Arriving at the higher-up�s office, I learned
that not having renewed my FM3 residency permit was a �very serious
matter.�
�What could I do to remedy
this �serious matter?�� I asked, fearing the worst. After several minutes
on the calculator (my fears were confirmed), the official determined that it
would take over $400US, payable in cash � in pesos � to remedy the matter. I
protested that this amount was too high for such a minor infraction. (Actually,
it was no infraction at all since you don�t have to renew such documents if
you don�t intend to use them again.) I always thought that everything in
Mexico was negotiable, but I was WRONG AGAIN! After telling him that I would not
pay such a high price for a �fine,� and that I would just have to go back to
Texas and not spend all the money I had planned to spend in Mexico, it was time
to �walk away,� at least from him.
Back at the hotel,
considering our situation and knowing that since the border is open 24 hours a
day a new shift of officials would be coming on duty at some point, we decided
that for the moment it was just best to �hold them,� and see what the next
set of officials would be like.
Sure enough, at around 10:45
p.m., new officials were in place. We filled out the forms for tourist cards,
but this time we used our certified copies of our birth certificates and our
voter�s registration cards as proof of U.S. citizenship. We sailed right
through this set of officials without any problems whatsoever. I thought of a
phrase from one of the PT (Perpetual Travelers) books, written by W. G. Hill,
who said about government clerks the world over � �Give them the papers they
want and they will give you the papers you want.� He was right. It works!
Epilog
� Arriving several days later in beautiful Chapala, Jalisco, we visited our
favorite fee enterprise immigration expert and friend, Margo. She knows
immigration law and rules better than most immigration officials, as well as the
practical aspects of how to get them to work for you � and she informed us of
something we had already suspected. The official we met was just an example of
one of those �power-to-the-head� types, who, fortunately, are not any more
numerous in Mexico than in the good old U.S.A.
The Happy Ending
� In a few days Margo had our FM3 residency papers renewed. yes, you recall
correctly. The Mexican Consulate in Dallas did say that they could not be
renewed, once expired. I�ve found that talking to Mexican immigration
officials is much like talking to IRS officials in the U.S. You get as many
different answers as the number of people you speak to. This time we were right
to �hold them,� because � our residency papers were renewed at the regular
fee (about $68.00US), plus aa very small late fee of about $10.00 total for both
documents.